Mother's Day- A Mommy Chosen....For This??

For all mothers who have suffered the death of a child to SIDS....

While many moms blissfully relish in the joys of motherhood today, there are also many mothers who face this day feeling empty, surrounded by empty.....empty arms, empty carseat, empty nursery, empty heart. How, you may be wondering, does a grieving mother possibly "celebrate" Mother's Day?

To answer that, it helps to look at a significant truth about becoming a mother.

God says in the following passages:

Jeremiah 1:5: Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart...

Psalm 139:13-16: For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

I've read the passage from Psalms many times, and it is inscribed on our son's gravestone, but just this week it occurred to me- 

If God knew our babies before He even created them....if He knew "all the days ordained" for our children "before one of them came to be"- then He also knew whom He'd choose to birth- or adopt- these precious babies.

God does nothing without a perfect plan. He is intentional, and read this carefully- He chose to entrust you with the birth or adoption- and far too early death- of your beloved child. 

Hmmm....doesn't seem to elicit the same response as a winning lottery ticket. No mother wants to be the one "picked" for this. But what does it mean when you are?

Let me ask you this:

Would you consider accepting (I'm not saying "liking," "volunteering," "believing it's best," or even "being thankful for") the death of your baby, IF.....

If you knew that a year or two from now, your heart would be nearly completely whole again, feeling joy and hope and passion for life?

If the death of your child actually brought life to your marriage?

If God became closer and more real to you than ever before in your life?

If the life of someone very close to you was saved and/or radically changed (for the better) as a result of your child's death and the way you have grieved?

If God brought another baby(ies) to you to raise, love, nurture, and teach life to, who couldn't ever replace your deceased child, but who brought a new joy and miracle to your empty arms and home?

If God never gave you another child, but He fulfilled that longing with an indescribable peace and healing that you could never imagine possible?

These are very difficult questions to process, especially if your loss is still very recent. But they are not completely hypothetical, either. These are actual experiences lived by other SIDS mommies and mothers who have suffered the death of a child. If most of your answers were "yes" (or "sure," "perhaps"), then......

Could it be that through the loss of your child, God trusted that you would allow Him to use you as a broken but willing vessel to show His glory?

Could it be that He knew you would allow Him to work His power through your suffering to reveal His miraculous healing and the "mysteries hidden in darkness?" (Job 12:22)

Could it be that He knew you would take a chance on believing in His promises, even when you were at your deepest despair?

Could it be that He saw that you would risk opening your wounded heart to him one more time- because you heard He wanted to redeem your loss and restore your joy, hopes, and dreams?

After making you a mommy (or more specifically, "After choosing YOU to be the mother of your child(ren)"), God's plans did not suddenly get derailed when your baby died. Since He knew "all the days ordained" for us before our lives ever began, He knew this was coming. He didn't "will" it, and He didn't "cause" it, but He already had plans to rescue you from the devastation of it. And not just that, but to bring life, healing, and hope again from it!

It may take some time and God’s miraculous healing for you to fully be able to embrace all this. And like most of us who have suffered the death of a child, IN A HEARTBEAT, you'd trade in the "Chosen Mom" award for your child back. But the truth is, today is a day to celebrate you. And you, precious mommy, have a priceless gift awaiting reunion with you for eternity.

Happy Mother's Day.


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