From Loss to Life

This blog is written by SIDS America co-founder, Cheryl Darnell, whose son Billy died from SIDS. The thoughts reflected here come from Cheryl's heart to encourage others who are also experiencing the death of a child from SIDS. Her desire is that you might find hope and healing through her words and know that you are not alone.


Writen by:  Martie Spurgeon

I want to take a blog post and introduce myself.  It is significant to me that my ministry here with SIDS America is officially beginning this week.  This is the week my life changed forever, fifteen years ago - today.  God has been preparing me for this ministry long before that sad Saturday morning. 

It was during a teen mission’s trip that my youth pastor was giving a challenge.  I remember the challenge distinctly.  He was talking about allowing the events that come into our lives to mold us into a person whose life glorifies God.  He then went on to illustrate his point by telling the stories of two women, unknown to each other, but who both suffered great loss.  Each of these ladies lost one of their children to death.  As the story went, car accidents had caused each of these mothers  to suffer heartache and loss.  He told of how the one mother grew horribly bitter....

Cheryl Darnell

Since the death of our son, I've had friends who have miscarried early in pregnancy, friends who have miscarried late in pregnancy, friends who have grieved infertility, friends who have given birth to stillborn babies, friends who have lost a parent, friends who have lost a friend or family member to suicide, and friends who have lost a young child to freak accidents. It is interesting to me how often tragedies get compared. A number of times I have heard, "Oh, Cheryl, I'm devastated over my loss, but I can't IMAGINE what it must feel like to have lost your child whom you held, nursed, and knew!" 

But what IS worse?? Losing Billy to SIDS at 5 months where I don't get to watch him grow up and talk and develop his unique personality? Or losing Billy at age 25 when I have 25 years of memories to mourn? Or losing him in my womb before I even get to know his gender, see his smile, or hear his laugh? What about my precious friend who longs for children and yet cannot...